Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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