I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize