Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
