Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
