I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I love having hate sex.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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