He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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