32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
