I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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