youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
