At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
