im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
