is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
