Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
