Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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