A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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