He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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