quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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