the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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