let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
