i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
