I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
