so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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