well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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