i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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