whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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