i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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