He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
