just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
