i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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