70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
