If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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