You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
