u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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