I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
