Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
