either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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