yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
