I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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