who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just pee around me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
