she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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