Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
