He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize