Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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