He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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