i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
