I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
