Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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