Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
