they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The Olympian is in my bed
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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