There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i barfeds in our rink
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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