stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
