Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
