two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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