Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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