And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
