FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
