we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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